


What Are We?

by simonbananaao3



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finnpoe - Freeform, Fluff and Smut, M/M, NSFW, Smut, Stormpilot, poefinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6602920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonbananaao3/pseuds/simonbananaao3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A different passage in the life of Stormpilot for each chapter, Finn doesn't know Poe's intentions...yet...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> "The resistance will not be intimidated by you."

It just so happened that I woke up in the hospital bed for the fifth time that night. Tossing and turning myself to sleep would never prevail. So there I was, staring at the ceiling. I observed the patterns of the rock. It must have taken forever to make this I thought. The base was built into the mountain and it was done so carefully and perfectly that you could see every hack mark in the walls. I saw the patterns of lines on the rock and began to follow it with my eyes. It took me all over the room. I noticed more than I had before. I saw leftover marks on the walls from when Poe drew out the attack plans for his fellow pilots. Poe. I smiled when I thought of him. Even though I had only known him for what seemed like three days, we already had amazing memories together. Thinking of those times let my mind drift off. My eyes were closing before I knew it. I finally fell into a long sleep.

I awoke at around 9:00AM. It was a reasonable time for me. The nurses said I needed plenty of rest. I would’ve slept longer, but the sounds of running and X-wings lifting off the ground really didn’t help me sleep. Oh well. I wasn’t tired anymore at least. I looked around for a nurse. I was extremely thirsty, and I couldn’t get up to go get the water myself. A nurse came through to check on the other patients.  
“Ma-ma’am?”, I stuttered.  
“Yes?”  
“Could you get me some water, please?”  
“Of course, I’ll be right back.”, she smiled. I smiled back and she went on her way. I laid back down on my bed in relief for surviving that awkward encounter. I closed my eyes and swallowed. I was trying to regain any saliva I had back into my system. My mouth was as dry as the desert in Jakku. I tried to regain focus and remember as much as I could about the last couple of days. The only thing I could remember was seeing Kylo Ren and Han Solo on the bridge. Thinking about that moment made me sad for some reason. More and more started to come back to me and- oh right..fuck. I tried to hold back my emotions, but with the pain from the lightsaber gash and the thought of Han dead, it was pretty hard. I couldn’t cry. Mainly because I was so dehydrated. I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Finally, she was bringing me my drink. It wasn’t that long, but it felt like forever. I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes in relief. She entered the room.  
“You can just leave it on my nightstand, miss.”  
“Miss?”, said a familiar voice. My eyes instantly shot open and saw Poe Dameron standing at the foot of my bed.  
The resistance pilot looked at me with a confused smile, but I knew he meant it playfully. He was still wearing his orange jumpsuit and he had is helmet tucked under his armpit. His black, curly hair was sweaty; I assume he had just gone flying. He walked up to me and patted me on the shoulder. He looked at me and saw that I was upset. His smile broke into a frown and he sat next to me. His torso towered over me, which was unusual, because I was way taller than him. It felt weird, but I felt safe in his shadow.   
“What’s wrong?”, he said in a more serious tone. I sighed and looked down. My eyes landed right on his groin, where I kept them for a whole four seconds. Awkward.  
“Just thinking about Han.” He looked at me with understanding.   
“Yeah, everyone’s pretty beat up about it. It’s awful.”  
“Yeah. How’s the general handling it?”  
“She’s fine in person but you can tell she’s mourning silently. She’s taking her anger out on the First Order. She’s sent my squadron out five times this week for recon and twice for airstrikes.”   
“Well..I mean, that’s good right?”, I said finally looking at his face.  
“Yeah, but I haven’t slept in days.”, he said with an exhausted sigh. He laid down across my lap and leaned towards me. He looked like he was uncomfortable, but that didn’t stop him from going right to sleep. I looked down at his shut eyes and listened to his breathing. His head eventually went to the side, facing away from me. I put my head on the pillow and tried to forget about Han and all of the events before. Just a week ago, I was FN-2187. Now, I’m here. There’s nothing that can stop me. I refuse to rest. I am Finn. I am resistance.


	2. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Finn is just living his life and he doesn't really know what to like and he might or might not have a thing for Rey but then Poe comes in and he's just like "OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE GONNA SWITCH THINGS UP" and then yeah. Love y'all byeeeee weeeeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This is not how I thought this day was gonna go."

Several shots fired into the air as the mechanics of the cannon whirred. The pinkish-red rays fired towards the clouds. I looked up and smelled the burning metal. The barrel was smoking with a grayish gas protruding from the muzzle. The gunner exited the cockpit of the cannon. He sighed and looked at me and raised his eyebrows. He missed the target by what seemed like a mile. A pod was sent up to act as a target for practice. I walked up to the cockpit and opened the small door to clamber inside. I looked at all of the controls before me. This doesn’t look like the textbook. I thought to myself.   
“Okay, okay, you can do this.”, I said to myself aloud.  
“Okay so, ignition.” I flipped the switch.  
“CANNON ONLINE”, the computer screamed at me. I jumped in my seat. I remembered to myself the controls in the book. Ignition, primer, ready lights, aim, fire. Ignition, primer, ready lights, aim, fire. Ignition, primer, ready lights, aim, fire. I repeated over and over again in my mind. The barrel was primed and I flipped the ready lights switch to alert people outside.  
“READY FOR-“  
“Shut up!” I shouted back at the computer. I began the process of aiming. Not only was it hard to see through the monitor, my aim was never the best. The commander always taught us to point at least two inches above the target on the monitor. I tried to estimate what two inches looked like with my fingers. I must have done pretty well, because when I fired, I hit the pod right in the center.   
“YES!”, I shouted. I stepped out of the cockpit onto the tarmac and got a light round of applause from my fellow trainees. I began to walk to the water area so I could get a drink. I was tapped on the shoulder. I turned around and saw the best pilot in the galaxy.   
Before I could say anything he wrapped me in a bear hug and refused to let go for a good six seconds. Everyone on the tarmac was giggling at the sight of his affection towards me, but I didn’t mind. I kind of liked it. His hugs were always the best. They brought a warmth that nothing else could bring. Like a blanket mixed with a fire place. Whatever the feeling was, it was damn good. He finally let go and he had the biggest, most stupid grin on his face. It was still adorable.   
“That shot was amazing, Finn!”, he said excitedly.   
“Thanks!”, I responded with a less amount of enthusiasm. He walked me to the water area and we stood there just drinking. He had obviously just been out on a mission. His hair was ruffled from wearing the flight helmet and his eyes were tired from the stress of keeping his squadron together. Even though he was tired, his eyes still sparkled. It was like looking into a vast ocean of perfection, or the entire galaxy was in his eyes. I had never payed too much attention to his features before, but his eyes captured me, and kept me in a world of total peace and rhythm.   
We stared at each other while we drank from the paper cups. We said nothing. We just admired our own features until our cups ran empty. Then we dipped our cups under the fountain and began drinking again. He was the only one who would listen to me. I thought. Rey and BB-8 were good companions, but Poe listened, and laughed, and he looked at me with a gleam in his eye that can only be known as focus. Rey helped, but she would just get distracted, she was excited about everything ever since we came to the Resistance. She would introduce herself to everyone and always smile when anyone walked by. And BB-8, well, he doesn’t understand the concept of human emotion, and I don’t speak his language. Poe was my best friend. He was the one I could count on.   
He drank his last sip of water and threw away his cup instead of filling it again. He looked at me with a more serious tone. I threw away my cup as well, even though it was halfway full. He moved closer towards me. His face was inches from mine. He looked downward and blew air from his nose. His lips broke into a smile as he did this. He looked back up at me, straight into my eyes.   
“You know, there’s probably no other time I’m going to be able to do this.”, he said softly.  
“Do what?”, I asked, confused.   
“This.” He leaned into me and kissed me. The world stopped. Everything suddenly went into slow motion. I closed my eyes and felt the sweetness and brightness of his kiss on my lips. What only lasted for about three seconds, was stretched out into three days. Three days of absolute paradise.   
When he pulled away, he took a part of me with him that I will never regain. He looked at me and giggled. His eyes were tearing up and he couldn’t stop smiling. I, on the other hand, didn’t know how to react. So many things were happening at once. I felt butterflies. I felt fireworks. I felt release. I . . . loved him? I never felt this way before, let alone for another man. In the First Order, love, affection, attachment, or connections to anyone of any kinds was strictly forbidden. They always had men with men and females with females to prevent this from happening. I couldn’t have feelings for anyone, so maybe that’s why I couldn’t feel it at first. I am still learning what love is. But right now, I love Poe. And he’s damn sure in love with me.


	3. Bad Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn has night terrors, Poe is there to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I know where you come from."

Poe and I had always shared a room. He decided that since he introduced me to the Resistance, he should be the one to help me assimilate to how things work here. I wanted to be like them, but it was always hard. I had been brainwashed since I was just a child, taken from a family I’ll never know, and now I have to act like my past was nothing. Sometimes I forget that I’m resistance. I’ll wake up automatically at 4:45 in the morning and start to get ready, even though I have no reason to. This morning was particularly brutal, for me and for Poe.  
I woke up at 4:45 and jumped straight out of bed and ran to the restroom. I was so tired and so out of it that I didn’t realize what I was doing. In the First Order, we were given no sleeping clothes. They did this so in the morning we wouldn’t waste time undressing and then bathing, they wanted everything done quickly. So, by mistake of the mind, I prepared my bath of cold water and jumped in with all of my articles of clothing on. I was awoken immediately by the frost of the water and I freaked out. I shouted as my eyes were forced open and I couldn’t breathe. I looked around me to see if anyone was there. The door was wide open and the other room was still dark. All of my clothes were completely soaked and I felt like I couldn’t move. It was so cold, I felt like I was frozen into the position.  
BB-8 rolled into the room hurriedly. He beeped at me and of course, I had no idea what he was saying. But I’m pretty sure it was along the lines of “Finn, what the fuck, man?”. I looked at him sincerely. I couldn’t talk. I was embarrassed, cold, tired, and ashamed all at once. I looked down at myself. I looked like a complete fool.  
All of the ruckus must have been loud, because I heard Poe shuffling around the sheets and eventually rising from the bed to greet me in my shameful state. He rubbed his eyes and looked at me, astounded at the sight beheld. I didn’t want to look at him. But I could feel his emotions rushing through him. I don’t know what emotions. But emotions.  
“How…how long has this been happening?” he asked sympathetically, but firmly. The firmness in his voice was I needed to push me to breaking point. I broke. I began to sob rather loudly. I put my head into my cold hands and just sat there. I looked awful. Poe came rushing to my side to try to comfort me. He put his arm around me.  
“Hey. Hey, don’t cry, buddy.” His consolation was to little prevail. My sobs became quiet tears streaming down my face like rivers on a mountain. I was in a rigid state. Not calm. I was in no real state of emotion. I was breathing, but no air filled my lungs. I was blinking, but I had no eyelids. I was in a translucent state.  
“Finn? Finn!” Poe shouted as I snapped back into the real world. I breathed in heavily. I looked around, I was still in the same room, the same tub. I looked at him. His eyes were red. I thought it was because of his lack of sleep, but in the creases of his tear ducts, I saw small droplets turn into larger ones, and they slowly began to roll down his cheek. He wasn’t firm with me anymore. He was in as much of a wreck as I was  
We were silent with each other. My skin began to become wrinkly. Poe noticed this.  
“I think it’s time we get you out of here.”  
“Yeah.” I rose from the tub. The air enveloped my body. I was colder now, my body had just gotten used to the water. Poe leaned over and pulled the plug on the tub. He then wrapped me in a towel and tried to dry me off. He held me close to his body. He was warm and cozy. I put my chin on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was so tired. His warmth gave me a sense of home; I felt as if I could fall asleep in his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a bear hug, which covered the whole front my torso and my groin area. We stood in this position for a while, but it seemed like heaven. I could tell Poe was enjoying it. Every minute or so, he would squeeze me a bit tighter.  
After five minutes of pure hugging, he let go. He looked at me and smiled. His eyes were still red and his cheeks were still wet. I wiped the remainder of his tears away from his cheeks. His smile grew bigger, and he looked down and laughed. His head moved upwards again and he had the stupidest grin on his face. I loved the way he smiled. His smile was contagious, and soon I was smiling with him.  
“You know, the only way for you to be completely dry is for you to get those clothes off,” he said with a smirk.  
“Oh. Well, will you help me with that?” I said. He moved closer to me and grabbed my waist.  
“Of course.” He winked at me when he said this.  
He began to unbuckle my belt and pull it off. Afterwards, he peeled off my now see-through white shirt. He looked me in the eyes seductively. I knew where this was going, but I didn’t want him to stop. I have never been with anyone, and I needed to know what it felt like. He pulled my body closer to his; I could feel his breath overlap with mine. His smelled of mint and leftover rations. He leaned into me and kissed me. I closed my eyes and it seemed as if time stopped.  
We made our way to the bed and we fell on to it, still making out. Our tongue’s had become one. We were so involved within each other. It was like the whole world didn’t exist. He touched me in all the right places. He stopped making out with me, and gave me little pecks on my neck and face. He was adorable when he did that. He eventually stopped and moved close to me and stayed close to me. His arms were wrapped around me, and his hands were on my chest. He was being the big spoon. He always wanted to be the big spoon. Sometimes I let him, other times he had to force himself. It was cute either way. After a long a stressful event that took less than an hour but seemed like three, we finally both drifted into a long sleep. The only things on our minds were each other, and we wanted to keep it that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I hope you guys liked this. I'll be writing more soon hopefully. I will happily accept any prompts that you guys have to offer so just send them to my inbox or go to my tumblr: morefabthanfab 
> 
> Love you guys!!


	4. Innocence Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Poe wants to do something innocent for Finn, things get a bit crazy, but fun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING NSFW SMUT AND A LOT OF OTHER THINGS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN

“Finn, I like that.”

It was hot outside. The sky had clouds scattered about it. Resistance soldiers ran around the D’Qar base. They all had their minds on their own tasks. I sat on one of the large crates that were always around and just watched the people. The resistance always looked astray, they were always in motion. The First Order was so much different; we worked as a single unit. Everything we did had to be precise. If we succeeded, we succeeded together. If we fell, we fell as a team. I hated looking back on the First Order, but what else was I supposed to do? I had no other past. I was brainwashed since birth. I tried to forget about it for now. I had my Comm in my hand. Comm was short for communication microphone. It was a small, tube-shaped contraption. It had a grey microphone on the top and the wiring was encased in a black metal. It allowed for me to talk to anyone on the base at any time.  
Even though I had access to anyone, the only person I wanted to talk to was Poe. Rey wasn’t available most of the time; she had been force training with Luke for about a month and a half. The times I could talk to her were brief and they were usually just talking about what she’s been learning with Luke. Sometimes she would ask how things were with Poe and me, and I would just say “Nothing much” and brush it off when really there was so much happening. I wanted to tell her about how he smiled at me whenever he saw me. Or that he always put his hands on my cheeks when he kissed me. Or that whenever he would leave on a mission in the middle of the night, he would leave a note that said “See you soon, love you forever and ever” which was followed by the entire paper being decorated in hearts. I guess I would just have to save that for when she gets back.  
I saw Poe’s X-Wing landing on the tarmac. Butterflies instantly flooded my stomach. I saw BB-8 get lowered down to the ground and some personnel gathered around him instantly to clean him. Poe was given a ladder to climb down on. Once he reached the ground, he removed his helmet and saw me. His face instantly lit up with joy. I started smiling at him as well. I must have looked pretty stupid to anyone around me because it looked like I was just smiling for no reason. But no, he started running towards me and I got up from my crate.  
“Finn!” he shouted sounding like an excited child. He grabbed me and wrapped his arms around my upper torso. I could barely breathe, but it was a cute suffocation. He let go and looked at me. His eyes were sparkling, and the sweat made his hair look like he had just gotten out of a hot shower. When I wrapped my arms around him, I could feel his tense, strong muscles relax in my arms. It was an amazing feeling. He instantly relaxed on me, and I could tell he felt like he was home.  
“It was rough out there, bud,” he said with a semi-stressed tone.  
“Why? What happened?” I asked, concerned. I studied him more carefully now, ensuring that no harm had come to him. Luckily, he was free of scratches.  
“We were out examining the wreckage of one of the old Star Destroyers…” he trailed off. I could tell he was zoning out. He was probably having a flashback of some sort. I had to knock him out of it. I hit his shoulder lightly.  
“Poe?”. He jumped a little but looked back in my eyes. His pupils were wide. God, how I loved those eyes.  
“Yeah well, um…” He trailed off. He readjusted himself, he obviously wanted to get his mind off of whatever happened.  
“Wanna learn?” he said suddenly.  
“Learn what?”  
“How to fly,” he said as his eyes lit up again.  
“Um, sure!” I said enthusiastically.  
It had always been a dream of mine to learn how to fly. Ever since I was in the first order, I wanted to be in a TIE Fighter. But now, I was more into X-Wings. I was DEFINITELY into Poe’s X-Wing. I was also into Poe’s something else if you know what I mean. His lower gunner position, if you get what I’m laying down. (A/N I AM SO SORRY. I HAD TOO).  
He leads me to his ship, now inside a hangar. He grabbed the ladder and put it in front of the ship. He put his arm out as a sign to get in. He grinned at me when he did this. I smiled as well. I clambered into the cockpit and sat in the crimson red seat. It was a worn down seat. It had definitely been used hundreds of times. It was still warm from Poe’s body. Poe climbed in soon after me. I didn’t know how the seating was going to work since there was only one available spot currently occupied by me. But Poe paid no mind to this and sat right in my lap. I blushed a little, but he didn’t see it. He looked back.  
“You alright back there?” he asked. I gave him a thumbs-up. Suddenly, he started rearranging his body and moving it so that he was on top of me. I was surprised by this and I didn’t know what to say so I just grunted. He didn’t say a word and he just kept moving until his torso was on mine and he was facing me. Our bodies had sandwiched and we were looking at each other. He had eyes of seduction while I had eyes of confusion. I knew where this was going, and I liked it. He kissed me, and he kept kissing me and I didn’t want it to stop. His tongue was so intertwined with my own that it was like we were one. I started to feel aroused. I knew his intentions, the only thing I was going to fly today was Poe Dameron. He started feeling me up, maneuvering his hand, trying to find my member. My erection had gotten to a point where I was afraid it would burst through my pants. He found it and began to unbuckle my belt. He started moving his mouth down to my chest. He stopped so that he could take off my shirt. I helped him a little but he was eager to get it off himself. He started feeling my erection and kept kissing my neck. I started to moan. Soon he moved all the way down to my pants and he stopped again to pull those off. My boxers were exposed and his eyes were fixed on my raging bone. He moved his hand towards it and started caressing it softly. He soon grabbed it and started jerking it. I started moaning louder from the intense pleasure.  
“You like that don’t you?” Poe said holding my throbbing dick. I couldn’t respond. It felt as if everything was coming out. All of the feelings I had for him, suddenly poured out. This is what I wanted to do. For such a long time all I wanted was to be with him.  
I could only nod in response. He took that as an answer and he squinted his eyes sexually. When I thought he was going to keep stroking my cock, he suddenly rose up and looked into my eyes. He gave me a kiss. It wasn't just a kiss. It was one of those things that you can’t forget. The way he looked. The way I felt. His lips against mine, colliding in the most beautiful way. I felt his cock against mine. He gave me the signal that it was my turn. I started to undo his belt. He never looked down, his eyes were locked in the place of mine. I unravelled his belt and pulled down his pants to see that his boner was exposed. I started to feel his cock and his head immediately nodded upwards and his eyes shut, all signs of extreme pleasure. He tapped me on the head and gave me a signal that he wanted more. I knew what to do, even though I’ve never done it before.  
I had to contort myself into a rather uncomfortable position. My legs were under the control panel and my head was just above the edge of the seat. I took pulled his boxers. I took his cock into my mouth. It was my first time sucking a dick and to be honest, I was proud of myself. He was moaning loudly and his eyes were closed the whole time. He started holding on to the hair on my head and pushing my face into his member. I gave him pleasure. I wanted to give him my all. I kept sucking until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Then he pulled away, so suddenly. I was confused, did I do something wrong? Wait, I knew where this was going. I don’t know if my body was prepared for this, but I wanted it. I wanted this. Again I had to completely rearrange my body so that this could work. But somehow we did it. My body, now a pretzel, was aching. He bent down and gave me a kiss on the back of the neck and whispered a small “I love you.” into my ear. It was one of the few times he had used the “L” word, and it gave me a warm feeling inside. I gave a weak smile back to him to signal that I was ready. He entered me and the pain was intense. I felt as if I was being taken over, and I was cold. But for some reason, I felt safe with him. I felt that this was where I was meant to be. He started going faster and he started moaning with pleasure. The pleasure took over the pain and I was moaning louder than he was. The pleasure is something I will never forget. My body filling with emotion and his love flowing through my veins. Time slowed down. My body was not at peace, but I was.  
Soon, Poe started moaning louder. He started going faster.  
“I’m gonna come,” he said. I had no idea what to say in this situation, so I just gave him a nod. His moans could have been heard throughout the entire base, maybe even the planet of D’Qar, but luckily I don’t think he was. He was going fast, really fast. My body had grown used to it by now, and it was pleasurable. He was so hot.  
“Oh fuck, I’m about to come!” he exclaimed. He penetrated me faster than ever and then suddenly, he stopped. I felt a warm gush of fluid enter me. It was hot, but it felt good. I wanted him to feel good, and he certainly did. I moved so that I was next to him. Our naked bodies, spooned in the seat of the X-Wing. He looked back at me and smiled.  
“You know,” he said, “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone as much as I love you.”  
“You mean that?” I asked. He turned his body around so that we were facing each other.  
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He smiled. I laughed.  
“I never really thought our first time would be in an X-Wing.”  
“Me neither,” he said. He grabbed my hands and started playing with them. I watched as he grabbed my fingers and messed with them. I laughed at him. Not because he was funny, but because he was cute. I thought back on today, an innocent flying lesson turned out to be so much more. A kiss sparked my first time. A man made me feel. And what he made me feel, was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a chapter. Don't worry, we'll go back to our regular fluff soon. Love you all


	5. Inhaling Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyphens represent time passing. Enjoy <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You completed my mission, Finn.”
> 
> A good song to listen to with this chapter is "Sandcastles" by Beyoncé. The lyrics don't really matter but the music fits.

“You completed my mission, Finn.”

It had been two days since Rey came home. Now as a Jedi, she would always use the force to pull Poe and me closer together. It was embarrassing, but we secretly liked it. Sometimes she slammed our faces together and made us kiss. Those were great moments. I was in the bathroom getting ready to go to my training. I shaved my face until it was completely hair free. I looked at myself in the mirror. There was a small cut on the side of my face, I couldn’t feel it but I knew it was there. I wiped the blood off and exited the bathroom. Once I walked out, I proceeded to get dressed. I had my boxers and my shirt on when Poe came into the room. He walked in and smiled at me. I smiled back and returned to dressing myself. Before I could, Poe came behind me and wrapped his arms around me from behind. I tried to turn my head around to see him, but my head couldn’t turn that much. He put his head on my shoulder and rested there. He was obviously tired.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked. He grunted.  
“I am. So tired,” he said sleepily. I chuckled a bit.  
Suddenly he pulled me to the edge of the bed and we fell on to the messy sheets. The sheets smelled like us. We had fallen onto my side of the bed, but Poe liked to cuddle so naturally, my side smelled like both of us. We were laughing at this point. His arms were still wrapped around me and his jaded body laid on me like a log. He was truly tired.  
“Well if you’re gonna sleep with me,” I started, “can we do it properly?” He smiled.  
“Yeah.” We proceeded to rearrange ourselves so that we were spooning. Even though almost his entire body was wrapped around me, he insisted on being the little spoon. This was fine with me, I loved holding him close to me. I held on to him tighter than usual. I could feel him bursting with just plain joy. Our love was electric. I was never going to let go. 

-

“Again? Isn’t this the second time today?” I asked in disbelief.  
“It’s just one mission. It’s recon. No one gets hurt on recon. Trust me, I know.” I was mad, not at him, but at General Organa, she was pushing her soldiers too hard. I knew why she did it, but it really took a toll on Poe. Just this morning, he was so tired that we collapsed on the bed. But he has to go out again. It’s his job. I eventually surrendered but Poe could tell I still wasn’t happy.  
“Hey, I know this sucks and all but,” he grabbed my arms when he said this, “I’ll be back, trust me.” He leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft like cotton and warm like honey. I returned the kiss with a more powerful one. I didn’t want him to go. When we released from our kiss, he looked at my torso. I was still wearing the jacket that I found when we crashed the TIE Fighter on to Jakku. It was worn out, but it still fit me perfectly.  
“Nice jacket,” he said with a smirk.  
“My boyfriend got it for me.” He laughed.  
“He must be a pretty cool guy.” He leaned in and kissed me again, this time holding my head in his hands. He kissed me harder than before. Once he released it was like he took a part of me with him.  
“For good luck,” he said.  
“I love you,” I said as he started to walk towards the ship. He turned around.  
“I will always, love you.” He blew a kiss to me and I blushed, I’m sure everyone could see my face turned crimson red.  
“You’ll see me again,” he shouted as he climbed into the X-Wing, “I promise.” BB-8 rushed past me, beeping along as he went. They both went into the ship and flew out of the hangar with the rest of the squadron. I watched as he and his fellow pilots traveled into the open galaxy.

-

I took a nap to get my mind off of things. I was still waiting for Poe to come home. I shot out of bed immediately and walked about my room. I was pacing, I had never paced before. I didn’t like it. I was using up energy for nothing. I heard running outside of our room. I was curious as to what the commotion was about. I opened the door and saw everyone hurrying over to the command center. I figured that they were watching the mission and how everything was going. Maybe BB-8 had sent transmissions of what they had seen in their flight. I decided to walk over there.  
It wasn’t that long of a walk there. I entered the room and saw around forty people huddled around a large table. The table was producing a holographic image of X-Wings flying through space followed by an Imperial Star Destroyer and several TIE Fighters. My blood instantly ran cold. I saw Poe’s fighter in front of the squadron. Several TIE Fighters tried to circle his squadron but they maintained control and managed to destroy as many as they could. The situation looked like it could be contained. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He will be okay. I thought to myself.  
Suddenly, like a wave of fear, several more TIE Fighters launched from the Star Destroyer. The hairs on the back of my neck rose to attention. I feared for his life. Without him, I would have nothing. I couldn’t watch anymore. I had to get out of there. I ran out of the command center and went straight to my room. I locked the door and fell onto my bed and wept. The sheets that smelled of Poe and me and all of our luxuries were now stained with my tears. 

-

There were several knocks on the door which made me jump. I rose, my face still stained with tears and my cheeks still puffy. I did not look okay, and anyone would notice that by just looking at my face. I opened the door to find a soldier who I had never seen before.  
“Mr. Dameron?” he said.  
“He’s out on a mission right now,” I said, closing the door.  
“No. Mr. Finn Dameron?” I immediately felt a surge of emotions rush through me. He had never addressed me as this, and the fact that he put ME under HIS name. It was an amazing feeling.  
I was concerned as to why this unknown soldier was in my doorway. I looked him over. He was wearing the usual rebellion soldier uniform. His hands were behind him and he was standing as straight as he could. He looked as if he didn’t want to be doing this.  
“I regret to inform you that your husband, Mr. Poe Dameron was killed in action,” he said while he removed his hat. I couldn’t believe his words. Grief filled the air as it filled my lungs. I wasn’t breathing nor living. I was suffering. I was in denial. My vocal cords had shut down and I was unable to communicate. It was like I was being thrown into a pool of water and it was closing on me, suffocating me.  
“I’m very sorry for your loss.” These words resonated in my eardrums for some time. Processing them was a challenge for my body and mind. I stuttered as I tried to produce verbal communication.  
“O-Okay. Thank you.” I closed the door quickly. I sat on my bed and began the horrifying stages of grief. I got up from my bed again and locked the door. I realized I didn’t have to have it open anymore; no one else was going to come in here beside me. So fast and so suddenly, something was ripped from me. That piece that Poe took from me, I will never get it back. I shouldn’t have let him go. I should have stopped him. I knew he wasn’t fit to go back out there. I could have done more, but I didn’t. I was angry now. I was so stupid. I was watching him leave the base and I did nothing. It was my fault he was gone.  
I broke down as I sat on my bed. The tears streamed down my face for the second time today, but ten times more powerful than before. I was alone. I had no one. All I wanted was to feel his embrace one more time. I had nothing, and I wanted everything. No, I didn’t want everything. I wanted Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, hope you enjoyed. Love you all, my inbox is always open for prompts.


	6. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. Finn and Rey deal with the loss of Poe when they hear something on the communicator...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this final chapter

“One hell of a pilot.”

My heart was a stone. Every emotion that could possibly be formed was being poured out of me. I was in anguish. I was angry. I was afraid. I was nothing without him. I wanted to be with him. I felt safe with him, but now I was alone. I was as scared as ever. I woke up thinking that it was a dream, all of it. But to my realization, it wasn’t. I was upset. I had never woken up upset. Sometimes I was tired or in pain. But I was angry, angry for being awake and having to live without Poe.  
I walked to the bathroom to ready myself for the day. I removed my clothing and climbed into the shower. It was cold. It reminded me of when Poe caught me in the bath at 2am. It brought tears to my eyes to think of this. He wrapped around my entire life. There are no words to describe what he does to me. His voice breathes a feeling of completion. It’s like we were meant to be. And in all of the stars in the universe, we came together. I was crying quite intensely now. The water from the shower washed my tears away but they couldn’t wash away my sadness.   
I got out of the shower and put on my clothes. I heard knocking on the door. I walked towards the door and opened it. Suddenly, Rey threw herself on to me and completely wrapped me in a hug. I slowly put my arms around her to make the hug less awkward. She began to cry.  
“I’m so sorry,” she said in between sobs. I closed my eyes and began to cry. Again.   
“I know,” I paused, “I know.” We stood there for some time just wrapped in each other. Even though we were so wrapped up in each other, there was still something missing. Poe was missing. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to wrap him up and just hold him.  
“They’re holding the funeral today,” Rey said.  
“Today?”  
“Yeah, they announced it over the speakers. Didn’t you hear it?”  
“I must have been asleep.” She released me from the hug.  
“Well, the general wants us both to be there and to lead the precession.”  
“Did they find his body?”  
“No, it’s an empty casket.” For some reason, the thought of an empty casket and his real body just floating in space made my heart hurt. If he was dead, I wanted to bury him correctly; at home on D’Qar.   
“When does it start?” I asked.  
“Thirty minutes. I came to get you.”  
“Let’s go then.” We walked to the tarmac. There was a large mass of people around six caskets. One of which belonged to Poe. His had the resistance symbol on it as did the others. Somehow, his stood out.  
Since he was a squad leader, he was first in the precession, which is why we were chosen to lead. We walked in front of his casket and looked at it. Some soldiers picked it up with ease. Empty. Like me. I thought. I was studying the casket, looking for anything out of place. If we were burying this for him, I wanted it to be right.   
The general walked out and watched us ready the caskets. She saw me and began to walk towards me. I was angry at her, but I knew why she sent Poe on that mission. She did what she had to do. She stood in front of me and looked at me.  
“I’m sorry for your loss.” I didn’t say anything in response, I just nodded. I wasn’t going to start crying again.   
“If there’s anything I can do, at all,” she paused for clarity, “come find me, please.”  
“Thank you,” I responded. She gave me a weak but sincere smile.  
Instruments started playing behind us. This was a signal that the march was about to begin. Soon, the tarmac was flooded with everyone on the base. The soldiers picked up Poe’s casket and we began walking towards the empty field. The field had six large holes in them and shovels next to them. The around us was a cool morning breeze. It was around 8:00, but the sun was still barely out. The air picked up speed and nipped at my face. I closed my jacket for warmth. I realized that my jacket was the same jacket Poe had let me keep when we were reunited for the first time. I loved this jacket more than anything. I grabbed the ends of it and held it tight, I never wanted to let go of this thing. I always had it on. I slept in it. I trained in it. I ate in it. I did everything with it. It had started to smell of not just Poe but both of us, and I loved it. Poe said the jacket suited me, and he was right.   
Once we had reached the field, we started to gather around the first hole in the ground. This one was for Poe. They played slow music as they lowered his casket into the ground. Poe didn’t like sad music. He liked more upbeat songs; songs that woke him up. He wouldn’t have liked this funeral, we probably would have bitched about going but we would have still done it out of respect.  
His empty casket was finally on the bottom of the ground, and they proceeded to fill it with dirt. I saw the resistance symbol slowly change to a brown color, and then suddenly it wasn’t visible at all. There were murmurs around saying that this was it for the resistance. Since Poe was gone, everyone had been in a constant state of terror. The First Order was quick to realize what they had done to us, and the celebrated accordingly with heinous slogans like “Without Poe, the Resistance is nothing” and “Poe is dead, now let us conquer”. I hated hearing these and seeing them broadcasted. I wanted to kill the First Order. I wanted to smash Kylo Ren’s head into a brick wall. Sadly, I couldn’t do that.   
I watched as everyone suddenly moved to the next hole. Rey and I stood by Poe’s grave. We couldn’t move. We were both still shocked that this was even happening. We stood at his grave for ten minutes. We were silently paying our respects to him. We could have stayed longer but we were tired and hungry. I noticed a pattern. Every time the mass of people passed a grave, the family would stay behind. The mass eventually became the general and some of her commanders. Rey and I couldn’t get our eyes off of Poe’s grave.   
“I think we should go. The funeral’s over,” Rey said.   
“Yeah.” We walked away from the grave and I looked back. Small writing on a stone said “Poe Dameron, one hell of a pilot.” I saw this and small droplets formed in my eyes. I watched as it grew smaller in the distance; the last image of Poe was fading away. I turned my head away from the grave and began walking towards my room with Rey.  
Once we got in the room, we sat on the bed. We sat there in desolate silence. We didn’t know how to start a conversation. Poe was usually the one who would spark debate or communication. He was gifted in that he was always able to make people laugh. Without him, we were broken. Occasionally, I would look at Rey, but I wouldn’t say anything. I was too deprived of emotion to form words. I could tell Rey was feeling the same way. Her face was barren and she blinked rarely. She was thinking, hard. I didn’t want to disturb her but I also felt the need to wake her up.   
“I’m starving,” I said trying to start a conversation.  
“Yeah, me too,” she responded. She talked fast. She was in complete discourse and I couldn't blame her. Even though we had both made the statement that we were hungry, we didn’t do anything about it.   
“J-.” the communicator crackled. Rey and I looked at each other confused. The only other person who had access to the communicator was Poe. My blood instantly heated.   
“Ja-. Jakk-.”   
“He’s trying to say Jakku!” Rey exclaimed. Both of us lit up with joy immediately.   
“We have to find him,” I said.  
“Jakku’s an entire planet how are we gonna find him?”  
“You lived there for so long. Where would you go if you crash landed there?” She pondered this for a moment.  
“Niima Outpost, of course,” she answered.  
“Then we go there first. Let’s go.”  
“Okay,” she said as she ran past me, “I’ll get the Falcon ready. You go tell the General.”  
“Okay!” I started running towards the command center. I had to keep running. I was running for Poe.  
I stopped running once I reached the doorway. I paraded into the command center with my head high.   
“General Organa!” I called out. She turned her head towards me.  
“Finn, are you alright?”  
“Yes. Yes, I’m fine.”  
“What is it?”  
“I found Poe,” I said as my mouth broke into a smile.  
“What? How?”  
“The communicator. He’s on Jakku. Rey’s getting the Falcon ready so we can go get him.” She looked around at her other commanders who were now listening to our conversation.   
“We’ll track you as you go along. Find him and contact us, we’ll send some medical barges.”  
“Okay, thank you,” I said already running out of the room towards the tarmac.  
I ran onto the ship and I found Rey in the cockpit. She didn’t have a copilot, so I sat with her and tried to help out as best as I could.  
“Did Poe ever teach you to fly while I was gone?” Rey asked.  
“Well, he was going to… but then he got a bit carried away.”  
“Right, you told me that story. Okay, hit that button right there and just do as I say for the rest of the flight and we shouldn’t die.”  
“Sounds good.” She pushed the throttle forward and we zoomed out towards the open space.   
Eventually, we had gone into light speed and the flight was shortened. I didn’t realize how close we were until Rey had pointed out where we were on the radar. I saw the planet get closer and closer.  
“Poe, we’re coming for you,” I said to myself.   
We entered the atmosphere and found a place to land. Rey could instantly tell where we were. This planet was here home so she had all of its terrain memorized.  
“Okay, Niima Outpost is that way. We need to stay off Kelvin Ridge and avoid the Sinking Fields in the North,” she said expecting that I was able to retain all of that information.   
“I have no idea what you just said, but okay let’s do this.”  
We ran towards the outpost. It was just as Rey and I had remembered. It was where we met after all. We ran to the different stands. We saw various different people and other life forms, but no sign of Poe anywhere. We saw Unkar Plutt standing in his usual place. We decided to ask him if he had seen him.  
“Unkar!” Rey shouted at him.  
“What is it, girl?” he said angrily.  
“Have you seen a tan man around here?”  
“He was probably wearing an orange flight suit,” I chimed in.  
“Oi, I saw him walkin’ around ‘ere askin’ about some water. He had to drink from the trough.”  
“Where did he go after that?” I asked.  
“He asked me where to find shelter. I sold ‘im a speeder and told him to go east.” Rey and I stepped away from the booth. By then, Unkar had already started giving portions to his customers. Rey was looking around trying to find some clue. Suddenly, it hit her.  
“I know where he went.”  
“Where?” I asked eagerly.  
“Unkar said to go find shelter. He probably went and found himself a broken down AT-AT or Star Destroyer.”  
“How do you know that’s where he ended up?”  
“Because that’s what I would do. And I lived here.” I decided not to argue and just agree with her. We ran towards the Falcon again. It was stupid using it to travel such short distances, but we weren’t about to run towards the nearest AT-AT or Star Destroyer in this heat.   
We were flying low and it was hard to see from the cockpit. We had to rely on our radar and our limited eyesight. Rey pointed downwards towards one of the fallen AT-ATs.   
“There!”  
“Where?”  
“That one right there, that’s where I lived. It’s the closest one to the Outpost and it had enough room for six people,” she said nostalgically.  
“Poe, I hope you’re in there.” We landed next to the foot of the AT-AT. It was large enough to flatten a speeder. Next to the metal contraption that Rey referred to as “the door”, laid a helmet with the resistance symbol on it. Initially, I thought it was Poe’s, but it was much older. It looked like it had been from the time of the Empire.  
We walked inside the AT-AT and saw that the lights were on. Rey contemplated whether or not she left them on when she left with me. She realized that she hadn’t. We walked around the empty room trying to find any clue of Poe’s inhabitance.   
Suddenly, we heard beeping. A familiar one and it came rolling towards us.  
“BB-8!” Rey and I said in unison. We were both equally excited to see him. I was more excited because it meant Poe was near.   
“BB-8, where’s Poe?” I asked. He beeped several times and I immediately turned my head towards Rey for her to explain. She just pointed toward an unlit room. I got up and walked towards it. Rey and BB-8 stayed behind. They were still conversing about their travels.   
I walked in and saw him. He was lying on the ground with a mat under his body. He had a small and rather uncomfortable looking pillow under his head. I watched his chest to make sure he was breathing. I sat next to him and saw his chest rise slowly and then fall back down again. I smiled at him even though he couldn’t see me. I had thought I had left him, but he hadn’t. He was never going to leave me and I knew it.   
I stroked his hair and tried to wake him. I didn’t want to force him up, I wanted him to wake up lightly.   
“Poe.” His eyelids twitched.  
“Poe,” I said again, still whispering but with a slightly louder tone. His eyelids began to open. I first saw his dark pupils. I then saw his iris of golden brown. His lips curled into a huge smile. He said nothing, but he lunged at me and wrapped me up in a tight hug.  
“I’m so happy to see you,” he whispered.  
“I know. I know.” I grabbed his hands.  
“Poe, I thought I lost you. I was in so much pain. I-I was broken.”  
“I’m so sorry, Finn. I love you so much.” I turned around to look at him. He pulled me in for a kiss. It was a deep kiss. I hadn’t felt his lips in what seemed like an eternity. He pulled away and stroked my face.  
“I am never going to leave you. I will always come back for you. I will not stop until I am back with you.” He hugged me again and pulled me down on to the mat with him.  
Rey and BB-8 entered the room. BB-8 zoomed past me and went right next to Poe to see if he needed anything. Rey saw us and laughed at us.  
“Well you two look comfortable,” she said. Poe and I laughed.  
“Wanna join us?” Poe asked.  
“Why not.” Rey laid down beside me. She was being the big spoon on me and of course, per Poe’s request, I was being the big spoon for him. It felt great to have them by my side. After all, we had been through together, it felt like we could never be broken apart. We could always find each other. We had some tough times, but we’re gonna heal. We rested together in the broken AT-AT. All was peaceful in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this has been a pleasure. It was a great escape to just take out my laptop in class and instead of taking notes just start writing this story. It gave me peace and I hope it gave you something to entertain yourself with. I love you all. If you have any prompts my inbox on AO3 is always open or leave a comment. <3


End file.
